Thursday, September 25, 2014

Entry 24: Another Irritating Skeptic

Entry 24: Another Irritating Skeptic

Nov. 3. 2012

It's extremely irritating, and really ignorant, when a person just assumes that I have just "convinced myself" that I have autism without even asking me, based on the fact that they personally don't believe I am autistic due to their own ignorance and adherence to stereotypes. 
Well, I have a100% official diagnosis, by a neuro psychologist who reviewed my childhood footage. Being a woman and because I had no choice, in survival, to learn how to cope. I have learned how to superficially appear that I am not struggling inside or that I think/process differently.

The few studies that actually are done show that the female brain can superficially cope with Asperger’s' to an extreme extent. The danger to this is the backlash that it causes for the woman inside. I'm trying to let the real me out, but sometimes I still find myself on "auto-perform" as I've coped that way for so long. I am still getting this ignorant sh*t said to me, and I'm so tired of it.

I scrounged 1200 bucks out of my very limited income by saving and scrimping for four months...just to get it to stop. And yet it's still happening!! I guess it will continue to as long as there is ignorance. When it comes to achieving adequate awareness; we are still quite far away from it, although it's better than it was. *sigh*

They call us daft... but whose really daft. Another thing I'd like to point out; I've also experienced a few males with Asperger’s' telling me that I can't be Asperger’s because I am "nothing like them" whence they actually do fit that stereotype. Some actually do fit it, especially males, but it still only represents a fraction of us.

We are all different, first of all, so we're going to have different presentations depending on many factors such as personality, gender, and environment of origin. Second of all, they can't see past the fact that I'm a woman. It's really irritating. It's actually chauvinistic…it's sexist.

Obviously femininity is going to change the way that AS is both dealt with and expressed. Shouldn't that be obvious? No offence to other aspies, and most don't do this, it's just certain AS guys that have said this to me. For example, the one who commented on my video just now. It honestly sets me off.

There's nothing worse than having a real internal struggle that you know and experience to be real, and someone isn't validating/acknowledging it. In fact, they're devaluing it. This is the same as say, having chronic pain (which you can't see) and nobody understands or believes you. It's pain on top of pain dude! For real, I'm tired of the word "Asperger’s" being exclusively associated with males. Again, it pretty well seems like sexism...and basically; I'm just so tired of stereotyping, period

- Rose Whitson-Guedes

*Like what you read/wish to support? Diary of A Girl Outside The Box and others (Kindle) are available to purchase via the "books" link on my site!

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