Nov. 7. 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Entry 50: Why Should We Change For You, Why Can’t You Change For Us
Nov. 7. 2014
Nov. 7. 2014
There are so many gifts my ASC self-realization has brought me. One big gift, which was always (until now) one of the biggest sources of my broken hearted emptiness, which is beginning to fill) is: good female friends. Well, I’ve made all kinds of great friends, but it’s nice to be friends with more women who “get it” the way I do.
In lieu of knowing this, it also makes me think about deeper reason. It starts with thinking: wow, I actually have some great female friends!! Well, I did have a close girl friend or two in the past, as a teen, but bad experiences with most other girls. Well, I love having all these new friends whom I feel I can really relate to, and yes, the long desired "girl-friends"... that's something mostly new to me!
It’s good to feel you have more genuine friends that understand the real you, whence we can love and value each other mutually. Whence ideas, depth, compassion, and fun meet.
This is something most girls desire to have very much, other girl friends. I did not get to have experience this before meeting other “Aspergirls.”
I had always been isolated from other girls especially, who, no matter how nice I was, only got meaner or just saw me as "Oh so…since she's nice, and wants so badly for us to like her, this equals: let's boss her around, put her down passive aggressively because we're jealous and want her to feel bad, so we can feel better about ourselves, and lets' use her as a gopher etc."
Most aspie ladies tend to keep a mind of their own, when it comes to a possession by this usual NT female manifestation of social mind viruses, like this "mean girls" stuff: b*tchy, judgmental, icy, competitive, psychologically abusive even. Well, maybe we’re not “immune” but it happens a lot less, anyway. Sometimes women can be competitive with each other, but even when I see it, I see more envy than I do “nasty jealousy.” We tend to try a lot harder to overcome what we know is silly and will hurt another.
Just as all aspies, male and female, we seem to be far less likely to pick up on various unethical but somehow acceptable social behaviors such as the above. So in lieu of that, I think the blessing-in-diguise that we have might be: not being able to pick up on the surface social nuances that cue people into accepting something as socially acceptable, even if it's actually inhumane. To put it bluntly: brainwashing...and subsequent desensitization.
Also, we tend to be hyper empathic and moral in addition; and these two are somehow intertwined in the most unique way... which I love 'cause it allows us to never accept something as a "rule" or "moral" when it does not make metaphysical/karma-tic sense.
Well, this isn't' always entirely true because when we are younger and hurting badly within ourselves. In this state our empathy can/may have become blocked and we may say or do things we don't really mean at all...in a trauma-reactive-meltdown sort of state. However, I’m talking about who we really are, many of us.
Anyone’s empathy can become blocked in that state, especially if they have an excess of it; but this is not a true representation of the person though. The difference between one in this state, and a true "abuser" type is clear to me.
I don't know why it wouldn't be clearer to psych clinicians; but it isn't. Hence why they invented “personality disorders” and such," in which are not only ridiculous and lacking clarity of meaning, but only further stigmatize someone possibly in crucial need of trauma therapy *shakes head*...
Anyways, that was a bit off onto the wayside, but I thought I'd mention it in retrospect. Also, there are NT's out there who are also Empaths. I call them N.A.E.s (non autistic empaths, haha.) They are our greatest allies, and some of them have helped and supported us a lot especially in recent times.
All I'm saying is, Au people seem to be less likely to pick up on and/or reject these unethical "social practices" in which are a lot to do with the worlds' current state of highly corporate indoctrination. People themselves aren't the only ones being disrespected; it's The Earth herself.
This shows with the blatant lack of consciousness for the state of the environment, how grossly money is wasted and unevenly distributed, how obsessed people are with "needing" material but then, how resistant they are to part with money when there is a deep and needed purpose... and how serious it's all becoming. So serious that it's starting to get exposed... which isn't a bad thing.
Actually, to be more optimistic, we are in a not only important, but mandatory (for the sake of our continuing existence) shift...and it's in part thanks to Au people, as well as those who empathetically support us. Ultimately, there are many reasons why our brains are wired the way they are. The ultimate example is the one I've outlined: our apparent "disability" with picking up social nuances.
Due to this, we seem to be mostly immune to indoctrination and overly following, without thinking for ourselves and with our hearts.
So this is a disability, you say? I don't think so! *We're for a reason, and it isn't for treason, so let go of your fears and hold us so dear...why should we change for you, why can't you change for us?
The reality is this: we must not collect dust" Yes, why can't you change for us, and also for yourselves? Because I know people are meant to be good.
Humanity is supposed to be good: autistic or not, its' meant to be good, and of Love, predominantly. The rest is a sad case of sociological possession. Ultimately: *Why can't you change for*: The Earth. Yes, the earth! Before it’s too late. that's what it's really all about brothers and sisters...and that's actually the polar opposite to "treason."
We're here to help the world, and that we are. If we collect dust, then so does the earth. However, we won't: we have “Indigo Light sabers? in the form of something called "Compelled"...
Vive Au !
- Rose Whitson-Guedes
*Like what you read/wish to support? Diary of A Girl Outside The Box and others (Kindle) are available to purchase via the "books" link on my site!