March. 2. 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Entry 67: Parents, Stand Up
March. 2. 2014
March. 2. 2014
Unfortunately, mistreatment and trauma happens to most autistic adults today, and children too. However, there's a hope to prevent it that lies in parent's standing up for their child from the get go; and thus minimizing the traumatic impact of these things. This makes for the kid having a better chance, and a better self esteem, into adulthood.
This truly does start with parents standing up and saying No to the systems that fail to protect us from misunderstanding that results in trauma. I really hope that staunchly opening up to autistic kids' parents, about the straight up facts coming from an autistic woman's point of view, won't be seen as bold. I feel it's so important.
I only want to share with them what can happen to us if we don't take action early now. I say "we" because; not only am I autistic and remember what it was like for me as a kid; but I also have an 8-year-old autistic son. I am currently being persecuted and even at one point, accused of acting in an “un-cooperative” way, because I know my son is afflicted, as autistics are in the environment of today.
So, in lieu of this, autie kids' parents; I won't say standing up for your child, and opposing the systems' idea of what’s good for them, when you see that it is not, will be easy. In the process, you may be judged, scapegoated, blamed, ostracized. You may then experience a taste of what your au child is prone to, just because they are au, and what is only likely to worse for them into adulthood.
I don't know about you; but this would only fuel my passion to do everything I can to make it one day stop. In the mean time, setting this kind of example for your child helps prepare them, boost their confidence and thus boost their immunity for what may, to some degree, be inevitable.
Yes, I have been ostracized, at times, for making my own individual, apparently "radical" choices for myself, and my children’s’ health and well being. I choose to give my sons holy basil herbal tea for calm, homeopathic, and herbal remedies approved by student herbalists. I choose to feed them gluten and dairy free diet without processed and fortified foods (we get the vitamins from super foods themselves, no need for fortification!)
I choose to go out of my way to avoid Genetically Modified Foods at all costs in which are getting increasingly easier. Knowing what I know, it's hard not to. I am a science woman too, and the facts about all of the former (especially GMO's) are not only cringe worthy, but particularly profound in effect, for autistic people. In lieu of this, I ride with my wholehearted beliefs, out of love for me children. This apparently makes me a "radical."
However, I have fought a lot to stand up for myself, and in lieu of this more clinicians I have worked with have seemingly seen the light. They know I mean business because I stand in my truth/ They know not to take the things written at face value, or be implicated as liable when I am finished with proving their absolute falsehood. See, this is standing up strong. I have no choice, as this extends to my family. It otherwise affects them too.
See, when I say these personal lifestyle choices work for my kids, and for myself (better than drug treatments); it is my human right and choice as a mother and as a human being. This does not makes me "disordered" and accusing me of such violates my human rights.
I can’t have this be, I can’t accept this type of abuse, and I will not stop making that clear. I have barely been able to even as much as open my mouth, in order to express any concerns for myself, or my children, without being seen in a negative light.
This is by clinicians who do not know me very well, and are simply taking one subjectively cruel judgment about me, at blunt face value. I consider this to be inappropriate and structurally violent. It is when it happens to any parent of any autistic child. It will be, eventually, dealt with, when I am ready for it. This isn't okay for my kids more than anything, so again; I stand up strong.
As one can see, I know persecution. It's because of my own autism and how I present, that I've been seen like this by the cynical, ignorant and un-evolved "professionals"...whom are "professional" enough to do a lot of damage if they feel so inclined. However, many of these “professionals” continue to take no responsibility for their erroneous and incredibly harmful actions. They most often do not stop until they are proven wrong so powerfully that they are overcome.
This is how snuffing out wrongful, potentially sociopathic societal behavior works. It's only by standing strong, until numbers and strength grow. There is no other way, with entities so feeling less and devoid in compassionate humanitarianism. It is possible to stand up to these behemoths. Let's take a look when the tobacco companies were successfully sued. Let’s take a look at how the corporations are beginning to respond to the opposition of GMO foods.
They are beginning to own up a bit more, by labeling their foods "Non GMO verified." See, otherwise, people don't give them business in not. See, it is possible. The customer, the client, the consumer, the patient, truly does have the more power than they think. We can stop giving away our power, and stand strong. We don't need to be afraid, subservient, and obedient. We especially can protect out children: we have a choice.
Autistic or not we can stand up; even in the face of what initial backlash may occur. Obviously, when you stand up to a beast; it may roar and thrash back. We can get through this part, and starve it out with our unwavering faith and love. It's our choice how we choose to optimize the functionality of our kids, and ourselves for that matter...so we can function as parents. If we don't, what has happened to so many failed kids who are neuro divergent, so tragically, will only continue to be. Our kids deserve a quality chance at life!
Currently, therapies are often less then effective and/or extorted in price. Greed and dollar signs have encompassed the world of autism therapies. It's not fair to any of us. Then, when we try to help ourselves, we can get attacked. When we don't adhere to what they say is the right way, we are persecuted.
I find it all to be terribly arbitrary. To even as much as passive aggressively dictate that only a certain way is the right way, feels so wrong. To deny all the rest albeit proof that different and alternative things may work for people, just isn't ok. This seems rather totalitarian to me, but in whispers. This is what modern society has become, and it's gone too far.
However, and in retrospect, I'm not the only one trying to change this in action. Thank god for the Internet. It's so important to be able to share stories amongst each other, and find answers unsaid.
Let's hope the more we speak out, the more society will evolve. That is why we must, and again, it starts with the parents. Be open to becoming the best advocate and activist you can be for your child. It will save your child a lot of potential grief in their future. Believe me, I know this one firsthand.
Nobody stood up for me, as a child, as they should have. Nobody was really aware of how to or for what. I carry those battle scars, and spend much of my time attempting to heal them and manage the damage caused. I wouldn’t wish those experiences on anyone. We can prevent it from happening to our own kids, even if it happened to us.
- Rose Whitson-Guedes
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